CoqTail

The world wants me to be
up to date with
myself
the world itself
future that will or won't come
otherwise
it makes me think that I'm so retarded;
that i've missed my turn or something
worse that than that:
like my chance in life
the one that will never repeat itself
just passed and will never happen again
I will never be up to date ever again
with all these things happening
around
before
and after me
should I try to catch my own me
from the future
on every day, week, month?
today's me is not me
future me it's not me
who am I?
i don't know - anymore